Escape to the islands . . . Sort of!

Last week, the college where I try (not with great success) to teach supposedly education-seeking Thais decided to give everyone a week off – without real warning, of course. Anyway, having managed to persuade my wife to tear herself away from the computer for a few days, we set off one Sunday morning for the island of Koh Phangan, located just north of Koh Samui. The 8.30 bus from Hua Hin departed at 9 & took us to a small ferry pier just outside Chumporn City. The ferry, supposedly an ultra modern, ultra fast catamaran, departed OK but soon after we reached the small island of Koh Tao, we were forced to get off the boat. No reason given & although I thought it might be engine problems, the boat then picked up a bunch of passengers heading the other way & took them off! I later learned that a large tour party had arrived at the Chumporn terminal & with typical Thai disregard for business, the company had decided to dump us & aim for them! Anyway, we later boarded the next ferry, which was of course already crowded, & so I spent the trip mostly sitting on a plastic stool at the back of the ship. After finally reaching our destination, we caught a crowded Song Thew to our hotel, located on a slope about 20 minutes outside the main port, Thongsala. We were supposed to stay here for 3 nights but mother nature had other plans.

We spent most of the daylight hours in or around the hotel, as the island’s attraction were not enough to make us drag our 2 ½ year old son along the winding & dangerous roads. We did manage to visit the lovely home of some French/Japanese friends we knew from Hua Hin, but this involved travelling across the island via some rather dicey roads. They live in a truly beautiful old cottage right beside the sea – except that it isn’t old, it’s just built to look old. Truly like something out of a guide book! However, come Tuesday night, we discovered how true the old adage of ‘Man proposes, God disposes’ is. You see, my wife noticed that the booking agent in Hua Hin had made a mistake on our return ferry ticket & so she called them. That was when we found out that due to the storm (the remains of Typhoon Durian that was sweeping across the Gulf), our ferry had been cancelled & there was no way we could get back to the mainland that day! To make matters worse, we couldn’t even use the hotel pool, due to the continual heavy rain, or even get on the beach – which meant keeping our little one amused for a long & windswept day!

However, come the next morning, the weather returned to normal , clear skies & smooth seas, & so after waking up the staff to get us some breakfast (this hotel, ‘Sunset Cove’, might consider itself a luxury resort but I most certainly do not), we headed back to Thongsala, where we eventually boarded the catamaran ferry & set off for the mainland. Having paid an extra 50 baht, we were allowed to sit in the so-called ‘VIP room’, which was virtually empty until we reached Koh Tao, where a large bunch of very noisy Thais came onboard. The movies shown during the voyage were both very unsuitable for our young son but luckily he was more interested in the sea & other boats.

We reached the mainland at some time after 12 & then resumed the chaotic experience of trying to make sense of arrangements made by a Thai company. It is hardly surprising that the Thai economy is falling behind all of its neighbours & may soon be overtaken even by Laos! You see, we were told to board the bus but we were not told there were 3 buses leaving. In line with the rules of nature, the one for Hua Hin was the last one we checked! Anyway, we got back to Hua Hin some time around 17.15, the journey north having taken much longer than the journey south, & then headed home.

Summary: Koh Phangan is a beautiful island, with some lovely scenery, especially in the mountainous interior. However, it’s charms are NOT worth the hassle & discomfort that the transport arrangements that link it with the rest of Thailand entail. If you do decide to go, try to avoid using the catamaran service (run by a company called Lomprayah). The best way is probably to fly to Koh Samui & then take the local ferry north to Koh Phangan. They say that the island will have its own airport within 5 years but that seems overly optimistic to me, & so I might not be returning there for a while.

Life's a beach!

What with living so close to the sea & enjoying the sort of holidays only experienced by teachers, I have long been thinking about getting up early one day & taking my dog Shandy for a walk on the beach before it gets too hot. Well, when my present holiday began, I checked the tide tables (http://easytide.ukho.gov.uk/) & found that our local beach was probably underwater at the time I had in mind. However, tides change & when I checked the table for this weekend, I found the timing a lot more promising. So this morning, I got up before 6 & surprised Shandy by taking him out for a walk. Admittedly, the walk to the beach was a pain, as we had to contend with the curse of urban Thailand – soi dogs, the wild, noisy & bothersome creatures who are encouraged by stupid women who insist on feeding them – not cleaning them or giving them a home – to earn merit for the afterlife. Anyway, I’d taken a stick & so they kept their distance. It was worth the effort. The beach was almost empty & the sun was hovering just above the horizon -- it rises over the sea here on the Gulf coast, & sets over distant Burma. I walked for about 50 minutes, meeting an occasional fisherman or pale holidaying Bangkokian venturing out from one of the beachside condos. I was just breaking into a sweat when I headed inland again, feeling both relaxed & rejuvenated. Now that I’ve actually made the effort, I intend to do this at least once a week from now on. After all, why live near the sea if the one thing you never see is the sea!

Anything wrong? Hell no, it's just a coup . . .

Well here I am, just a couple of hundred kilometres from where there are tanks parked in the streets of Bangkok – but am I worried? Hell no! Thailand has had plenty of coups before & so it is bound to be back to normal again quite soon -- normal by Thai standards, that is! Plus this was a very Thai coup – no bullets, no Tiananmen Square type massacre, but with citizens giving flowers to the soldiers on their streets. The former PM, Mr Thaksin, was so beloved that coup soldiers seem to have a great deal of support, at least in Bangkok! The first I found out about this coup was on Tuesday evening, when a CNN alert flashed up on the desktop of my home computer, saying that tanks had been seen on the streets of Bangkok. Before I eventually went to bed, much later than originally planned, it became clear that an attempted coup was indeed taking place. PM Thaksin declared a state of emergency from his hotel in New York but most of Bangkok seemed to have removed him from their thoughts. I woke up at 5.55 on Wednesday as usual & on switching on the TV, discovered that the coup had indeed taken place, & the military were now in control of Thailand. The new boss is army chief Gen Sonthi Boonyaratglin, the first ever Muslim C-in-C here. He & his colleagues declared Wednesday a national holiday & so I called my college to see if there were any classes. My reply came via Hat Yai, where the lady in question was visiting (who visits a place as dangerous as Hat Yai?), & confirmed that like every other school in Thailand, my college was closed today. What’s more, so was my son’s nursery. However, the unexpected holiday given me by the generals in Bangkok isn’t going to last long. By all accounts, tomorrow seems likely to be ‘business as usual’ but at least I have missed my dumbest & least diligent class. The coup leaders have announced that they will appoint a civilian pm in 2 weeks & hold elections next year, but words don’t always translate into action. Anyway, Hua Hin is calm & peaceful, the shops are open, the streets are busy & only some of the tourists are worried – needlessly, in my opinion. However, I wouldn’t recommend wearing a pro-Thaksin t-shirt just yet!

How to change provinces without moving.

Sorry for the long silence, folks, but I've been trying to break away from the keyboard a bit more! So what's new? Well how about this? Here I am living on the northern edge of Thailand's northernmost southern province, but next year, I might be living in the heart of Thailand's newest province. Yes indeed. You see, the politicians are striving to come up with a suitable 80th birthday present for his majesty the King. Not feeling like touring the department stores, the Cabinet thought up the idea of establishing a new province out of areas around the royal summer palace here in Hua Hin. The new province will take in Cha-am (currently in Petchaburi province), together with Hua Hin, Pranburi and Sam Roi Yot, presently located in Prachuap Khiri Khan Province. The reason for doing this, apart from His Majesty’s birthday, is said to be that establishing the new province would make it easier for the authorities to provide security for the Royal Family as well as ministers and senior officials who are granted audiences at the summer palace. Makes sense in a way – very untypical of Thai politicians! So what’s the new province going to be called? What will replace Prachuap Khiri Khan on my headed notepaper? That hasn’t been decided. You see, appropriately enough for his birthday present, His Majesty will be asked to choose the name of the new province if and when it becomes reality. This isn’t the only new province being considered by the boys in Bangkok. The other one will be much, much smaller, due to be created out of the area around the long awaited Suvarnabhumi International Airport in Bangkok, which will open at the end of next month – or so we are told! However, if that province -- & the bigger one around here – takes as long to be realized as the new airport, then I won’t need to change my address till at least 2046! Time for another cup of tea, I think…

Don't be fooled by the 'Rainy Season'!

Here in Thailand, it is now the rainy season, as those of you who've been here in the European summer will know. However, unlike places like Japan, the rainy season here isn't continually wet or even cloudy. A typical rainy season day starts with a hot & sunny morning. Usually, some time in the early or mid-afternoon, the clouds move in & then the rain comes a bit later, maybe around 15 or 16.00. Then it usually rains very heavily, maybe even torrentially, for a short time, usually less than a couple of hours. Then, we have a nice, cooler evening. It may get a little humid as the rain evaporates but not too bad. So for those tourists who are wise enough to take a chance, a 'summer' holiday in Hua Hin can be cheaper (low season rates), less crowded (tourists who just see the words 'rainy season' & look no further) & not too wet. Nonetheless, if you do venture over here during this time of year (which lasts till late October), take my advice & get up early, go out early, do your beach or sightseeing thing before lunch -- then take it easy when the clouds move in. Don't let the phrase 'rainy season' fool you, folks. The sun is never far away in a place like this!

A good day to be a teacher!

Thursday (the 29^th), apart from being the anniversary of my starting to live in Thailand, was also 'Teachers' Day', an event that I had special reason to enjoy -- being a teacher! The college where I work asked me to be there at 08.00 that morning to take part in the celebrations & so I got there at my usual time (around 8.05) & sure enough, things started to happen at around 9.20 -- T.i.T, as they say = 'This is Thailand'! Well, a bunch of 1^st year students gathered in the function room & then we foreign teachers were asked to go on in. We did so, walking down the aisle between the assembled students, all of whom were on their knees & giving us the 'Wai', hands together Thai gesture of respect. Once seated on the stage, we were given a fine display of traditional Thai dancing by 3 truly lovely female students & then came the obeisance ceremony. Every student there assembled had to line up & then make their way to the front, stand in front of us, 'Wai' us & then -- here comes the unreal part -- they had to go down on their knees & lower their heads & Wai-hands to the floor. Every single 1^st year student did this, male & female, & some of them brought us gifts of flowers & garlands. So it was that after spending my morning enjoying this ritual (morning classes were cancelled & I didn't have an afternoon class), I travelled home on my usual motorcycle taxi (฿30 each way) with 3 long-stem roses in my sweaty grip. No-one will ever get rich being a teacher, least of all in Thailand, but working here does occasionally give you a splendid memory -- 'one for the memoirs', as they say!

Koh Talu -- A great place to escape!

I have just returned from spending 3 days on Koh Talu, a tiny island off the coast of southern Prachuab Kirikhan, about 200km south of Hua Hin. It took just over 2½ hours by car to reach the ferry port, which was actually a beach near Bang Sapan, & then we had to wade out to the small boat -- don't come wearing designer clothes! There are 2 resorts on the island, the smaller & cheaper Mook Bay (very popular with day trippers) & the larger, more expensive but much more attractive Big Bay resort. We stayed at the later & were glad we did. Not only is the beach bigger & cleaner, but folk using the Mook Bay hotel usually came to our place for lunch & for excursions -- which must say something! I did enjoy our time there but when we went out snorkeling near the truly spectacular cliffs (the island's name means hollowed-out cliffs), I slipped under the boat & the barnacles rather changed the appearance of my legs! I didn't notice a thing until we returned to the resort, when the lady at the beachside bar almost screamed & pointed to my rather bloody legs. However, she & the 'guest relations' guy (nice chap named Lek, look him up if you go there) treated my leg & cleaned it up, so a sort of happy ending. The resort is very nice & as we were the only guests (the rainy season's coming up & it was midweek), we were spoiled by the staff. However, take a mosquito coil with you, as the rooms don't have mosquito nets & the electricity isn't 24-hour on such a remote island. However, it's worth a trip, though a day trip might not be so worthwhile -- you only get to spend about 4 hours on the island!

(If you'd like to visit there, I recommend the agent we used. If you'd like to know more, let me know.)

How to get a Thai licence -- a real one, that is!

My other half recently went to change her international driving licence into a Thai one. Now there are several arguments for and against such a move. The main one for it is that the local constabulary, known to one and all as the boys in brown, are said to give you more leeway and expect less 'generosity' from drivers with a local licence, thinking that you aren't a tourist after all. The main argument against it is the process involved.

First off, please make sure that if you do this, you take a Thai speaker with you. This is not only to help guide you through the bureaucracy, it's also to show you where the damn'd place is, as the only street signs are all in Thai. However, if you are driving from Hua Hin, it is down the side road beside Pranburi Police Station, which is between Camp Tannarat and the town, about 15km or more from the edge of Hua Hin.

Anyway, once you reach the office, you will have to submit the sheaf of papers you should have prepared beforehand, including the proof of residency that you got from the police or immigration -- or embassy, if you felt like a quick trip to Bangkok! (For more info on this, check here.) You hand these in when asked and then, after a suitable wait, you have to go upstairs and have your eyesight and reactions tested. In our case, the tester was a 'gatoy' or ladyboy, which was a little different to dealing with licence centres elsewhere.

Once these tests are completed (and the value of such tests is shown by the splendid (?) level of skill on Thailand's roads), you go downstairs and wait. Eventually, you will be given a remarkably flimsy piece of card -- that's your licence! I recommend you take it straight to the nearest photographic shop, like one of the Kodak supermarkets in Hua Hin, and have it laminated, or it may not even last the year. Year? Yes, your first Thai licence is valid for just 1 year. You then go back to Pranburi and, if the gods are smiling on you, get a 5-year one. Good luck, and remember -- if you can see even a tiny patch of road between you and the car in front, some Thai in a huge pick-up will try to overtake and fill that space!

God doesn’t use a calendar . . .

Well it looks like the rainy season has begun early this year. Normally, the wet season (which isn’t that soggy but does get more rain than the rest of the year) begins in late June but we’ve had a lot of rain this week -- & May’s not even finished! Therefore, as it’s raining today, I might as well add to this blog. So what have I been up to in the last week? Let’s see.

• Last Saturday, I went & bought a new computer at a shop in central Hua Hin. They only had 2 notebook computers, both Compaq (this is a small town, don’t forget) & I ended up buying a Compaq nx9040. They said they would install Windows XP & Microsoft Office & so we will have to return tomorrow to collect it & make the final payment.
• Then on Sunday, we finally went to the beach. I’ve been on holiday (semi-officially) for several weeks now (it's tough being a tropical teacher) but as my other half seems to have strange dislike for the beach, it’s taken me this long to get her to go. We went to Ao Sai Noi beach, where we had lunch – cheap & delicious! That’s my favourite beach in the vicinity but there are plenty of other beaches I haven’t yet visited.
• On the Monday, I finally went to the gym, the one inside the Palm Hills Sports Club. I used to go 2 or 3 times a week when I lived in Tokyo but this was my first time since May 31st last year, so it was not easy or pleasant, but obviously necessary!
• Tuesday was pretty forgettable, being cloudy & wet. Then, on the Wednesday, I returned to the Palm Hills Gym, where I did an even more rigorous workout. After this, we drove to the Market Village Mall, where we had a Chinese, dim-sum type lunch before doing some shopping in Tesco’s. The common round, the daily task, etc.
• On Thursday, I had to go & open a new bank account for my new job. We drove down to Bangkok Bank but we ended up spending almost an hour there. This isn’t a good place to be if you’re in a hurry, as no-one else is! Hell, I’m less worried about time myself, so maybe it’s catching! Anyway, that evening, I had 2 of my pals over, a South African & an American. We stayed outside drinking until around 23.00, so I had no trouble sleeping!
• Friday saw me going to the University where I am due to start work soon, to get a briefing with my future colleagues. There were a few Caucasians, one Indian guy & a couple of new Filipinos. Anyway, I therein found out that I shall start work there next Wednesday.

So this is my last weekend of true leisure. I would like to return to the beach or maybe scout around for a better one. This coast is sure as hell not short of good beaches. However, god doesn’t seem to have a calendar & so he starts the wet season whenever he feels like it! Such is life…

A heartwarming Immigration experience -- honest!

This entry should have appeared over a week ago, but the somewhat paranoid Spam-hunting software this site uses claimed my blog was Spam. Do you see any ads or plugs for any product or service? No, well. Don’t ask me what kind of weird parameters their software uses, but on with the motley, regardless…

I’ve experienced the joys of dealing with immigration officials in many different lands, even at the soulless Croydon centre back in London. However, I recently had a distinctly positive experience & I feel I owe it to the gentlemen concerned to record it for the eager world beyond this fair town.

I signed a contract with my new employer last Thursday (April 27^th) & the next day, they were due to provide the rain forest worth of documents needed to get me a new work permit & a new visa. However, this being Asia, the documents reached me 4 hours late, making it seem highly unlikely that I could get both the work permit & visa fixed up – especially as the 2 offices are over 70km apart! Well I tried ‘thinking outside the box’ & so I tried to get the visa first – highly unorthodox, officially impossible, but my only hope of avoiding a 1500฿ fine when my visa expired at the end of the month! Eventually, after they had actually stamped the visa in my passport, the immigration guys realised I hadn’t got my work permit & so they talked about cancelling it! I tried getting angry & seeking sympathy & managed to get permission to try & get my work permit application accepted before the office closed – just an hour later.

Thanks to being driven by Michael Schumacher’s reckless brother, we reached the WP office at 16.20 – 10 minutes before closing. I wasn’t too popular when I handed in my papers & so they managed to find a few errors, just enough to restore the slave-master relationship, I then left the WP office & sped through an unexpected rain storm back to Hua Hin. I arrived there at 18.40, more than 2 hours after the immigration office had officially shut. However, true to their word, 2 of the guys had stayed at their post & so I was issued my new visa at 18.50 – the latest anyone I know has ever been issued such a visa!

So top marks & then a few more for the Immigration Office in Hua Hin, who had previously given me polite & semi bi-lingual service but who truly went the extra few yards last Friday. If you’re planning to do any visa business in Hua Hin, rest assured that immigration here is a long way from being as bad as you might think!

One of the best reasons for living in Asia.

Yesterday was a fine example of one of the many things I love about living in Asia, namely, the chance to meet so many different kinds of people from all over the globe. I mean, if one stays in London or wherever, you usually only meet people from that city or place. Maybe at the office, you might meet a foreign visitor now & again, but here, in a small but surprisingly cosmopolitan town like Hua Hin, meeting people from all over the place is almost routine. Yesterday, we gave a little house party to celebrate my son’s 2^nd birthday. It wasn’t a big affair, less than 20 people I would say, but we still had guests from Africa, America, India, Japan, Korea, the Philippines, Sweden, Thailand, & the UK. The weather wasn't ideal, being cloudy & therefore rather humid. However, it didn't rain & so we were able to spend the whole time out in the garden, where it was easy to forget that the main Bangkok - Hua Hin highway was just a couple of hundred metres away. Birds singing, the warm breeze blowing, & my boy laughing fit to burst -- a great way to spend the last day of the Song Kran holiday! My son might not grow up the richest boy alive, & he might well not be the smartest, but I hope that with gatherings like yesterday’s, he will grow up a true ‘cîvis mundî’, a ‘citizen of the world’. Of course, growing up in a lovely seaside town, just a short walk from the beach, does make him a very lucky boy but what he does with the luck is, as they say, in the lap of the gods.

It's Song Kran -- Time for Cricket!

Well here we are in the longest school holiday of the year – good news for teachers like me! What’s more, yesterday was the first day of Song Kran. Now for those of you who don’t know, Song Kran began life as the traditional Thai New Year. It used to be celebrated by doing a lot of cleaning, like cleaning the Buddhist statues at the temple, cleaning your home and cleaning your soul of the last year’s sin – a lot trickier, that part. Now Thailand adopted the western calendar during its modernisation period during the late 19^th century and so Song Kran is now just a long holiday in the middle of the hottest season of the year. So if you happen to be walking down the street and someone throws water all over you, or squirts a large water gun at you, and maybe also smears some white paste on your skin, don’t get annoyed. They are blessing you, in a way, and believe me, when it’s around 42c or more, getting some cool water splashed all over you may feel like a blessing!

So how did I start my Song Kran holiday? By watching some cricket. Oh yes, I did get absolutely soaked on my way to the cricket venue (the Dusit Resort, Hua Hin), but I also enjoyed watching a game I haven’t played or really watched for around 30 years! It was part of the week-long Hua Hin Cricket Sixes. This year, we had 13 teams from Australia, Hong Kong and Thailand competing. These included 3 Melbourne Cricket Club teams, as well as the Phoong (Fat Belly) Follies from Australia and three teams from here in Hua Hin – including the Hua Hin Hopalongs, who were kicked out on day 4. To give you some idea of how desperate the Hopalongs are, they even invited me to play for them! I tried to warn them but what the hell – it’s a nice bunch of guys and a good social life, too.