The first half of April has been cancelled!

Did you miss me? I know I said I'd tell you about my Bangkok jaunt when I got back but after I did get back, things got a little hectic and so I couldn't get round to it. Suffice to say that it all went well and as you can see, I survived the Thai driving and returned home to Hua Hin safe & well. Doesn't that make you feel better?

Now this weekend just finished (31st/1st) saw the highlight of the Asian rugby calendar, the Hong Kong Sevens. Luckily, I was able to watch every game on TV here and don’t worry -- I maintained the tradition of only watching the first game sober! There was some great rugby (though Japan and France need, as my teacher used to say, to 'try harder') but it also made me wonder why, when poor countries like Madagascar and Sri Lanka were represented, there is never a team from Thailand? Not just the HK Sevens but almost any large sporting event (except the Olympics). Well, after having lived here for almost 2 years now, I can easily explain that -- as can anyone who's ever worked with a typical Thai male. (I do have to mention that there is a 'Bangkok Sevens' tournament, but the vast majority of the players are farangs, with only a few non-typical Thais discovering how much fun life can be when you get your act together!)

1. If there were a Thai team, the kick-off would be 2 hours late. One reason there are so few clocks in Thai institutions and streets is that no one cares what the time is!

2. No one would ever pass the ball! For the average Thai, long term means after lunch and so preparing a strategy for any game would be impossible. Judging by my students and the people we do business with, the average response to getting the ball would be "very nice -- but where's the fun in this?" If it isn't fun, they just don't want to know!

3. Half time would last till the next day. There are exceptions, of course (mostly the ethnic Chinese Thais) but usually, if you give young Thais a 10-minute break, they'll come back after 30 or 40 minutes -- or never!

4. The Government would make it illegal for anyone to lose! No Thai high school student is allowed to fail, even if they never show up for class. A zero score is not permitted, so the referee would have to give the local team a point even if they never arrived!

There are some fairly successful Thai golfers, tennis players & boxers, but team sports require coordination -- and trying that here would test the patience of a saint!

Anyway, this is a short week for most Thais, as Friday is Chakri Day, a holiday that honours the ruling dynasty. What's more, the week after sees the onset of Songkran, the Thai New Year. This is celebrated by the locals throwing/firing/ladling water onto anyone they happen to meet, be they friend or stranger, passer-by or cop. That may not sound like too much fun but remember -- this is the HOT season, with 40c+ being a daily event, and so a nice cold shower can be very welcome!

However, this will, of course, mean a few more days' siesta for most of the Kingdom, so if you're hoping to get anything done in Thailand for the first half of April -- don't!